My dear late aunt 'Dear Old Aunt Lois' (DOAL) was quintessentially Pulford - whatever that means…
She was a fascinating conglomerate of creativity, frugality, devotion and quirkiness. Robust, hearty, practical, no nonsense, earthy and grounded, unconventional, non-conformist. Extremely clear about her likes and dislikes. Opinionated. Compartmentalised.
My earliest memory of Lois is horsing around with her on the lawn at Coberley. She was game for almost any physical activity and climbed trees, hung upside down swung on swings and generally did what 40 year old women didn’t tend to do in the early 1960’s. She also invariably helped bring some cheer into the dismal atmosphere of Linton Rectory where Christmas was celebrated in a somewhat puritanical fashion. She was very 'game'.
There was something about her rather plummy voice, the pictures of Cornwall and Scotland. Her knowing chuckle. She had a certain Victorian style and robustness about her. Her spinning and weaving skills were truly remarkable and she was very modest about her incredible creations. I remember her working at the loom built for her by my father - another skilled craftsman and excellent carpenter. This left a profound impression on me as a young child and filled me with pride in my special family.
Lois claimed not to have much interest in gardening but this did not mean her garden was a mess - far from it. She enjoyed her brisk walks in Ross and enjoyed telling stories of how in the past she would go swimming in the sea with snow lying on the beach. She had a tough, steely constitution no doubt fortified by her stint in the land army during the Second World War.
In the Old School House and latterly in Ross-on-Wye the smells of wool dye, cats and spinning paraphernalia. Ornaments of sheep and cats… and the very certain ever present belief that the Pulford’s were really a cut above the rest. Not over-done but always there, nonetheless. A breed apart blessed and chosen by God…
To be "Pulford" in the mid 20th Century was to be patriotic to a fault to stand tall and be especially wary of anything foreign. The Welsh, the French and all Roman Catholics had a particularly tough time of it. Men were men. Feminism and lipstick were to be deeply distrusted…
Some have said Lois never really managed or wanted to chart a different course for her life than that prescribed to her by my grandparents Stephen and Eva. Theirs was a potently dogmatic interpretation of Christianity which could seem short on mercy and long on our shortcomings.
There was a warm and affectionate side to DOAL but I also found my Aunt at times to be harsh and critical. It was as if she was living in a time capsule with a finely filtered take on 'life on the outside'. Perhaps her deafness over a number of years made her ability to access the outside world all the harder… Her love of apocalyptic magazines and literature never waned and there was something of the doom monger about her! She lived believing that time was short and "He" will soon return in glory. Like her mother she was a walking talking bible concordance and a very witty and entertaining writer of limericks.
Let us also not forget how adventurous she became in her travels once the grandparents had died. She made her way to Australia and New Zealand and without fail always asked after her great nephews and nieces. Tom, Jack, Alice (here with us today), Emily, Edward, Diddy and James. Each one of them loved and admired their eccentric great aunt.
In bidding farewell to Lois we also acknowledge the love which she communicated in a very Aunt Lois-ish sort of way to the rest of her family. To her late younger brother my Uncle Paul - another great Pulford institution - and of course the big daddy of them all, my dear Pater - the good Canon - here with us today. My mum, Hilare would also want to pay tribute to Lois on this occasion.
We are particularly grateful to Ruth, Elizabeth Earnshaw Smith, Renata, Veronica and members of the spinning circle and Ross Baptist Church for their love and support.
Special thanks are due to my sister Sue who, together with Elizabeth so painstakingly organized for Lois to be comfortable and well cared for in the closing weeks of her life.
Jeremy, Claire, Sue and I all found much fun in our maiden aunt. She will be missed.
Indeed, the end of an era… May she rest in peace.
Christopher Pulford
November 2010